Resources & Education
Resources
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Books
Facing Co Dependency and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody
Codependent No More. Melody Beattie
Mother Hunger Kelly McDaniel
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Podcast
Brene Brown apologies/forgiveness
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2jxcLXMB672u5dpc9YqDu9?si=6d6180db787440eb
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Websites
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Laundry List of Characteristics
https://adultchildren.org/literature/laundry-list/
Sex and Love Addiction
https://slaafws.org/8-core-documents/
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SLAA Characteristics
https://slaafws.org/download/core-files/Characteristics-of-Sex-Love-Addiction.pdf
CoDependency
https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/2011-Patterns-of-Recovery-2015.pdf
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Non Violent Communication Marshall Rosenburg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TONauJGfc
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Character Strategies
SENSITIVE/WITHDRAWN
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Marked by wIthdrawal from human experience
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Child cannot distinguish between self and outside world experience.
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Attachment and issues of affect are central here
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Child chooses existence over needs
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An issue with connection and engagement develops
Defensive mechanisms: withdrawal, dissociation, refuge in fantasy or cognition, chronic hyperarousal, tension, anxiety and underlying rage, frozen core tension, armoring, terror and robotic behavior
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Fear of existing, feeling unwelcome or overwhelmed by experience and felt sense of annihilation
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The world is a relentlessly harsh place
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As an adult the world of fantasy takes over where there is a felt sense of control in the creation of one’s experience or, an analytical world of machines and precision in which feelings and needs do not exist
Ultimately a retreat from the world where there is no knowing or feeling what humanness is like.
What is needed is a path from withdrawal to safety and connection
Physical characteristics
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Eyes may appear frozen, startled, intense or especially wide open
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Arms pulled in, chest constricting to center
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Core tension in the body
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Fragility
Core Beliefs
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There is something wrong with me
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The world is harsh and dangerous
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I am not wanted
Personality
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Keep to their own world
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Strong fear or anxiety
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Emotions may not be congruent with presentation
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Maybe spiritual, creative, nonconformist, with high integrity and insistence on honesty
Explorations
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Invite felt sense of welcoming
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Curiosity about the world and exploring aliveness within one's interior world
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Accepting experience just as it is