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Resources & Education

Reading Glasses on Book



Facing Co Dependency and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody


Codependent No More. Melody Beattie


Mother Hunger Kelly McDaniel


Brene Brown apologies/forgiveness



Adult Children of Alcoholics


Laundry List of Characteristics


Sex and Love Addiction

SLAA Characteristics



Non Violent Communication Marshall Rosenburg

Character Strategies




  • Marked by wIthdrawal from human experience

  • Child cannot distinguish between self and outside world experience.  

  • Attachment and issues of affect are central here

  • Child chooses existence over needs

  • An issue with connection and engagement develops



Defensive mechanisms:  withdrawal, dissociation, refuge in fantasy or cognition, chronic hyperarousal, tension, anxiety and underlying rage, frozen core tension, armoring, terror and robotic behavior



  • Fear of existing, feeling unwelcome or overwhelmed by experience and felt sense of annihilation 

  • The world is a relentlessly harsh place


  • As an adult the world of fantasy takes over where there is a felt sense of control in the creation of one’s experience  or, an analytical world of machines and precision in which feelings and needs do not exist


Ultimately a retreat from the world where there is no knowing or feeling what humanness is like.


What is needed is a path from withdrawal to safety and connection



Physical characteristics


  • Eyes may appear frozen, startled, intense or especially wide open

  • Arms pulled in, chest constricting to center

  • Core tension in the body

  • Fragility



Core Beliefs


  • There is something wrong with me

  • The world is harsh and dangerous

  • I am not wanted




  • Keep to their own world

  • Strong fear or anxiety

  • Emotions may not be congruent with presentation

  • Maybe spiritual, creative, nonconformist, with high integrity and insistence on honesty





  • Invite felt sense of welcoming

  • Curiosity about the world and exploring aliveness within one's interior world

  • Accepting experience just as it is

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