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Resources & Education

Reading Glasses on Book

Resources

Books

Facing Co Dependency and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody

 

Codependent No More. Melody Beattie

 

Mother Hunger Kelly McDaniel

Podcast

Brene Brown apologies/forgiveness

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2jxcLXMB672u5dpc9YqDu9?si=6d6180db787440eb

Websites

 

Adult Children of Alcoholics

https://adultchildren.org/

 

Laundry List of Characteristics

https://adultchildren.org/literature/laundry-list/

 

Sex and Love Addiction

https://slaafws.org/8-core-documents/

SLAA Characteristics

https://slaafws.org/download/core-files/Characteristics-of-Sex-Love-Addiction.pdf

 

CoDependency

https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/2011-Patterns-of-Recovery-2015.pdf

Non Violent Communication Marshall Rosenburg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TONauJGfc

Character Strategies

SENSITIVE/WITHDRAWN

 

 

  • Marked by wIthdrawal from human experience

  • Child cannot distinguish between self and outside world experience.  

  • Attachment and issues of affect are central here

  • Child chooses existence over needs

  • An issue with connection and engagement develops

 

 

Defensive mechanisms:  withdrawal, dissociation, refuge in fantasy or cognition, chronic hyperarousal, tension, anxiety and underlying rage, frozen core tension, armoring, terror and robotic behavior

 

 

  • Fear of existing, feeling unwelcome or overwhelmed by experience and felt sense of annihilation 

  • The world is a relentlessly harsh place

 

  • As an adult the world of fantasy takes over where there is a felt sense of control in the creation of one’s experience  or, an analytical world of machines and precision in which feelings and needs do not exist

 

Ultimately a retreat from the world where there is no knowing or feeling what humanness is like.

 

What is needed is a path from withdrawal to safety and connection

 

 

Physical characteristics

 

  • Eyes may appear frozen, startled, intense or especially wide open

  • Arms pulled in, chest constricting to center

  • Core tension in the body

  • Fragility

 

 

Core Beliefs

 

  • There is something wrong with me

  • The world is harsh and dangerous

  • I am not wanted

 

Personality

 

  • Keep to their own world

  • Strong fear or anxiety

  • Emotions may not be congruent with presentation

  • Maybe spiritual, creative, nonconformist, with high integrity and insistence on honesty

 

 

Explorations

 

  • Invite felt sense of welcoming

  • Curiosity about the world and exploring aliveness within one's interior world

  • Accepting experience just as it is

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